I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Randomize
