he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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