Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
