So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
