why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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