Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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