The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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