No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Randomize
