Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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