We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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