even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
