She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
