Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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