he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize