is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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