Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
