If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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