Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
they're like a gay fantastic four
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize