I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
