I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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