McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize