the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
