I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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