Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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