Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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