i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
