i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
