Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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