Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
