I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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