Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
