somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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