I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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