So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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