thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize