Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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