I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Randomize
