We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
