who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
