those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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