16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
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