So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
