My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize