I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
