Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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