Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Randomize
