I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize