Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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