I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
