so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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