Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
