Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize