Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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