My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
