There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
