Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
