I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
