And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize