i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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