I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
my sisters under your porch take her home
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
