i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
